One and Not the Same-Chapter One!

Well, no one seems to have reviewed my last chapter...I think it's because one of three things:

1. I posted it on the same day as the new 5D's episode, so lack of attention
2. I haven't figured out how to allow anonymous users to post, since a lot of my friends aren't on LJ
3. The story is worse than I thought. D:

Anyway, I seem to have gotten a decent response on FF.net, so I'll try posting the story here one more time before putting it there again.

REPOSTED BECAUSE LJ IS BEING A BITCH WITH THE CUTS. IF THEY DON'T WORK AGAIN, I'M GOING TO BED AND THE STORY WILL JUST BE OUT THERE NAKED.

 

( Chapter One-Guilty Premonition )

 

 

So, critique/bashing anyone?